Today's Reading

While it may feel like everyone else is extroverted, that's not true.

Research shows that up to 50 percent of the population consists of introverts. That means there are about the same number of us introverts as extroverts, so we're not in the minority. We're just not as obvious because we think more than we talk (we're fluent in "silence"). When extroverts are doing most of the talking, it seems like they're in the majority, which can make us feel at a disadvantage. Based on what we see on the surface, we might conclude we don't have what it takes to succeed because we have the wrong temperament.

This book challenges that perception. We have exactly the temperament we need to navigate life successfully and make an amazing impact in the world. We don't need to compete against extroverts; we just need to step up and take our place as coresidents of the planet!

A lot of introverts don't understand that perspective yet, thinking we're "not enough" because we're not as outgoing as other people. That's a damaging perception; it's untrue, and it's time for it to change.

It's time for a whole new paradigm—one that recognizes the unique contribution and value that only introverts can bring to the world. If we try to become like extroverts, we rob everyone of the things only we can offer.

It's time to move from comparison to contribution.

Let's discover what that contribution looks like—and how we can make it happen.


CHAPTER ONE
WHERE THE JOURNEY BEGAN

If we held an introvert conference, what would it look like?
Unknown

The scene is still fresh in my mind because the feelings were strong. The work team I was on had come together to meet our new boss and catch her vision for the future. There were about a dozen of us sitting around a long rectangular table, and I was in the front corner—right next to our leader. She stood and asked questions, captured ideas on a flip chart, and explored ideas from the group. It was a fascinating discussion, and she had an engaging style that showed she cared about the experience of the group.

I was listening carefully and scribbling copious notes about the ideas being shared. I felt positive about the direction we were heading, and even the fast-paced, noisy energy of the group. It was encouraging, and I knew I'd be processing the discussion for hours if not days after we were done.

Near the end of our time, our new leader turned to me and said, "Mike, you've been really quiet. What are you thinking?"

I went blank and felt a quick wave of terror. I had been fully engaged in the meeting, but I had been listening instead of talking. I was taking everything in so I could think through it and form my opinions later after processing them. But in the moment, I was caught completely off guard. The room got quiet, and everyone was staring, waiting for my response. I wanted to say something intelligent and impress my new boss, but my tank of cleverness was empty.

The silence probably lasted only a second or two before I mumbled something sort of relevant but not impactful. She definitely didn't write it on the flip chart. That second or two seemed like an eternity. When I left the meeting I wasn't thinking about the energizing ideas I'd heard or the potential for our team. I was beating myself up for a poor performance, making assumptions about what my new boss must think of me.

After years in the corporate environment, I've worked with many others who had similar experiences in all sorts of environments. Introverted construction workers complain that others seem comfortable interacting during morning meetings on the job site, but it takes a lot more energy for them to participate. Retail salespeople are expected to spend their day making phone calls in an open floor plan where everyone works together, but they find it draining and want to escape to an empty conference room where no one can listen in. When coworkers in a small business go out together after work, the introverted ones just want to go home, especially if the group is going someplace crowded and noisy.

"What's wrong with me?" I hear from many of these introverts. "Why can't I be more outgoing and social?" They don't dislike people—in fact, they usually enjoy the people they work with. They just seem to run out of steam right when the extroverts are ramping up. Introverts often find themselves pretending to be outgoing and to enjoy the energy of interaction, but that can be even more draining.
I remember feeling that way, and it seemed I had only two options:

I could try to change who I was.

I could give up and accept my limitations.

Neither of those struck me as positive. Changing my temperament sounded like a lot of work. Giving up sounded like,
well...giving up. I needed a different solution, one where I could be myself but thrive in any environment.

That's where my journey began—and it's where you and I are headed.
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